Warning: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, function 'wp_core_scripts' not found or invalid function name in /home1/mentalgr/public_html/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php on line 353 The Divide part 2 • Mental Grenade
Warning: call_user_func_array() expects parameter 1 to be a valid callback, function 'creativo_shortcode_empty_paragraph_fixer' not found or invalid function name in /home1/mentalgr/public_html/wp-includes/class-wp-hook.php on line 353
As a Viet Nam vet I appreciate “Thank you for your service.” It is so much better than getting spit on or called a baby killer. More than once I have been asked if i “Killed” anyone. I am still surprised by this. I vary my answer between 153 and “Did you really ask me that?” or “Why do you want to know?”
My worst experiences and not spoken to civilians, ever. But a tie between fire ants, mosquitoes and leeches is an OK answer and not all too far from the truth.
I believe that some civilians go out of there way to say “Thank You for your service” because they regret not joining the military themselves and now they are to old, out of shape or have a family.
As far as a conversation with a civilian, I have found that short answers and blunt works (usually the civilian would stop speaking to me and walk away).
Yes we should teach others of the cost of War. How in-depth of a person experience is up to the Vet, as long as there is a lesson to learn by the audience.
I would much rather have a, “Thank you for your service” than a, “I almost joined…”
I agree, we should teach others the cost of war and the vets are the right ones to teach it. Sizing up the audience is a difficult task and sometimes the impact isn’t immediate. We are all emissaries representing the veteran world. If they were only to interact with a few vets who were all short/blunt/(which comes off rudely) then it would have a negative impact on our entire community. Teachers require patience- to effect real change and reduce the mil/civ divide, we veterans must show civilians how to be civil.
I remember a vet told me about when he and his friend went into the notary to exchange the title on a car. They signed it over as a gift but the notary didn’t believe it. The one vet pulled out his pistol, laid it on the counter and told the lady to mind her business and do her job. He was laughing as he told the story and was proud of his friend for putting the civilian in her place. Another civilian who will never look at vets the same way again.
War/violence is a break down of diplomacy, an extension of federal policy. Civilians start and end wars- the service men and women are the ones that pay the price.
I appreciate this Drew. It is usually easier I find as a fellow veteran to know how to ease into conversation with other vets from a relatability standpoint. How would you describe for civilians some things they could ask or do to build trust before asking about vulnerable conversations? When and how should they approach vulnerable conversations?
Personalities and mood can play a big part in this. Some vets have their walls up, wearing a “Disgruntled Vet, Keep Back” shirt/hat and glaring. When someone is defensive, it is unlikely you will get anything positive out of the exchange. Even with someone open to conversation you must lead by example. If you want vulnerability, show them how it’s done. A civilian should be willing to first give of themselves in the conversation.
So, are you going to get the story, about the time the Sgt’s best friend died in his arms, while standing in line for food? Unlikely. If you do, it’s probably BS. The key to conquering the divide between mil/civ is relationships. How does a civilian build trust with a vet or service member? Ask if it’s OK to inquire about their service. Then, if given the go ahead, ask for ground rules. Most people have a few questions they know they won’t answer- give the list OR just say that you can politely decline any question. Trust takes time. It might be awhile before a vet is willing to tell the real stories.
Also, not all vets are created equal. You have served in a time and place of unparalleled new warfare and danger. Depending on rank and where you get stationed, you could have been swimming the shores und getting bored. No disrepect, however, ever.
The hardest part is being away from your loved ones, no matter the cause or pay. Thus, maybe that would be a better line:
Thank you for believing in a better tomorrow and the steps you made to help make that happen. You most likely still do and I appreciate your commitment.
When we sign, it’s not just us but those around us, family and friends, who to whatever extent live and die with us, long distance of course.
I had a conversation with a French foreign legion, stationed in Panama back in the day when and he made peace with his PTSD. He will jump like a puppy when there’s a sudden loud noise. However, when those around him stay calm, it helps him to feel relieved fast.
All about the people you have with you, the unconditional love and support, joking helps too. In war and in times of peace.
lenganz
October 8, 2020 08:01As a Viet Nam vet I appreciate “Thank you for your service.” It is so much better than getting spit on or called a baby killer. More than once I have been asked if i “Killed” anyone. I am still surprised by this. I vary my answer between 153 and “Did you really ask me that?” or “Why do you want to know?”
My worst experiences and not spoken to civilians, ever. But a tie between fire ants, mosquitoes and leeches is an OK answer and not all too far from the truth.
Drew
October 8, 2020 12:16It’s about time Vietnam veterans were thanked for their service. It was disgraceful how America treated that era.
Stew
October 8, 2020 06:53I believe that some civilians go out of there way to say “Thank You for your service” because they regret not joining the military themselves and now they are to old, out of shape or have a family.
As far as a conversation with a civilian, I have found that short answers and blunt works (usually the civilian would stop speaking to me and walk away).
Yes we should teach others of the cost of War. How in-depth of a person experience is up to the Vet, as long as there is a lesson to learn by the audience.
Stew- Out.
Drew
October 8, 2020 12:13I would much rather have a, “Thank you for your service” than a, “I almost joined…”
I agree, we should teach others the cost of war and the vets are the right ones to teach it. Sizing up the audience is a difficult task and sometimes the impact isn’t immediate. We are all emissaries representing the veteran world. If they were only to interact with a few vets who were all short/blunt/(which comes off rudely) then it would have a negative impact on our entire community. Teachers require patience- to effect real change and reduce the mil/civ divide, we veterans must show civilians how to be civil.
I remember a vet told me about when he and his friend went into the notary to exchange the title on a car. They signed it over as a gift but the notary didn’t believe it. The one vet pulled out his pistol, laid it on the counter and told the lady to mind her business and do her job. He was laughing as he told the story and was proud of his friend for putting the civilian in her place. Another civilian who will never look at vets the same way again.
War/violence is a break down of diplomacy, an extension of federal policy. Civilians start and end wars- the service men and women are the ones that pay the price.
Chris Reardon
October 8, 2020 05:31I appreciate this Drew. It is usually easier I find as a fellow veteran to know how to ease into conversation with other vets from a relatability standpoint. How would you describe for civilians some things they could ask or do to build trust before asking about vulnerable conversations? When and how should they approach vulnerable conversations?
Drew
October 8, 2020 11:53Personalities and mood can play a big part in this. Some vets have their walls up, wearing a “Disgruntled Vet, Keep Back” shirt/hat and glaring. When someone is defensive, it is unlikely you will get anything positive out of the exchange. Even with someone open to conversation you must lead by example. If you want vulnerability, show them how it’s done. A civilian should be willing to first give of themselves in the conversation.
So, are you going to get the story, about the time the Sgt’s best friend died in his arms, while standing in line for food? Unlikely. If you do, it’s probably BS. The key to conquering the divide between mil/civ is relationships. How does a civilian build trust with a vet or service member? Ask if it’s OK to inquire about their service. Then, if given the go ahead, ask for ground rules. Most people have a few questions they know they won’t answer- give the list OR just say that you can politely decline any question. Trust takes time. It might be awhile before a vet is willing to tell the real stories.
Tabea Johnson
October 9, 2020 10:45Also, not all vets are created equal. You have served in a time and place of unparalleled new warfare and danger. Depending on rank and where you get stationed, you could have been swimming the shores und getting bored. No disrepect, however, ever.
The hardest part is being away from your loved ones, no matter the cause or pay. Thus, maybe that would be a better line:
Thank you for believing in a better tomorrow and the steps you made to help make that happen. You most likely still do and I appreciate your commitment.
When we sign, it’s not just us but those around us, family and friends, who to whatever extent live and die with us, long distance of course.
I had a conversation with a French foreign legion, stationed in Panama back in the day when and he made peace with his PTSD. He will jump like a puppy when there’s a sudden loud noise. However, when those around him stay calm, it helps him to feel relieved fast.
All about the people you have with you, the unconditional love and support, joking helps too. In war and in times of peace.