Memorial Day- what does it mean to you? What should it mean? Do we Celebrate it, Honor people on it, or Memorialize them? Maybe we should crack open a beer, grill a steak, and celebrate summer, right? After all, isn’t that the American tradition?

How do you address Veterans on Memorial day? First, don’t say “Happy.” Anyone who has fought in recent wars, or has family and friends that have, knows men and women that have died- friends that bled out in their arms, or blew up beside them. These days can bring back difficult memories.

For some civilians out there, it seems like a lot of days are on the calendar involving the military. These quick definitions may assist you:
1. Armed Forces Day– celebrating all current members of the Armed Forces of the United States of America
2. Veterans Day– celebrating all those who previously served in defense of this country
3. Memorial Day– a day to render honor to those who were killed while serving in the Armed Forces of the United States of America
These three are quite often confused. For a more comprehensive list, Click Here.

The Civil War ended in the spring of 1865 and cost approximately 620,000 American lives. This was about 2% of the country’s population at the time. Regardless of your opinions or perspectives on that conflict- families on both sides lost many loved ones and they wanted to honor their memories.

“By the late 1860s, Americans in various towns and cities had begun holding springtime tributes to these countless fallen soldiers, decorating their graves with flowers and reciting prayers.”

“The 30th of May, 1868, is designated for the purpose of strewing with flowers, or otherwise decorating the graves of comrades who died in defense of their country during the late rebellion, and whose bodies now lie in almost every city, village and hamlet churchyard in the land.”
-General John A. Logan

On the first Decoration day, Major General James A. Garfield spoke at Arlington National Cemetery after which thousands of participants decorated the 20,000 graves of both Union and Confederate soldiers interred there.

The true origins of Decoration Day are contested though. Some claim it was the South who honored their dead quite often. Some have proposed it was liberated slaves who honored the Union soldiers who fought for their freedom. Several cities in the “South” claim to be the birthplace of Memorial Day: Macon, Georgia; Richmond, Virginia; and Columbus, Mississippi.

The thesis of a 2014 book “The Genesis of the Memorial Day Holiday in America” by Daniel A. Bellware and Richard Gardiner. They trace it back to a woman named Mary Anne Williams in another city named Columbus — Columbus, Ga. In March of 1866, she sent an open letter to newspapers, saying that women in her area had been cleaning and decorating the graves of “our gallant confederate dead,” but that they thought “it is an unfinished work unless a day be set apart annually for its especial attention.”
Washington Post Article Reference

So, apparently the practice was adopted by many across America independently. General Logan, regardless of his opinion, knowledge, or perhaps annoyance, made the call to proclaim it in the North. Notice in the above quote, the intent is to honor the fallen that died in defense of the country during the “rebellion.” This seems to exclude the fallen of the South- though General, later President Garfield honored both.

Over the century between the the establishment of the practice and the Vietnam war, Decoration Day had been called Memorial day with greater frequency as the honoring of the dead from WWI, II, Korea, and the current continuing conflict raged on.

In 1968, Congress passed a bill that officially made “Memorial Day” the last Monday in May. The “Uniform Monday Holiday Act” went into effect in 1971, allowing federal employees to have a three day weekend.

So what are you doing this weekend? There’s nothing wrong with grilling out, having a few drinks, and thinking about the coming days of summer and the freedom associated with them- but remember that those days of freedom are paid for in blood. This ground we tread has been soaked in it from sea to shining sea.

I’ll leave you with this closing thought from a fellow veteran:
Here are some ground rules for the weekend:
1. Do not wish me a Happy Memorial Day. There is nothing happy about brave men and women dying.
2. It is not a holiday. It is a remembrance.
3. If you want to know the true meaning, visit Arlington or your local VA cemetery.
4. Do not tell me how great any one political power is. Tell me about Chesty Puller, John Basilone, Mitchell Paige, Ira Hayes, Daniel Daly, Smedley Butler, John Glenn, John Lejeune, or any other hero.
5. Attend a Bell Ceremony and shed some tears.
6. Do not tell me I do not know what I am talking about. I have carried the burden all too many times for my warriors who now stand their post for God.
7. Say a prayer and then another.
8. Remember the fallen for all the good they did while they were here.
9. It is not about those that have served or those that are currently serving.
10. Reach out and let a veteran know you are there for them, we are losing too many in peace.

God bless America