I’ve got a lot on my mind. If you’re paying attention, you might, as well.
OR, if you’ve learned to focus on one thing at a time and to only dwell on what you can change, maybe you’re a lot less burdened than me. I’m doing my best NOT to be a burden or to carry things that I can’t change.

The final day of the year is a great time to take stock in what happened the previous 364 days. A period of reflective observation can result in different outcomes depending on who you are, your stage of life, maturity level (emotional, mental, physical, spiritual), and what you’re dealing with at the time.

Yeah, I wrote the above paragraph New Years Eve. Then my son wanted to watch a movie on Netflix that would be gone January 1st, so I left this post to watch it with him. One movie turned into two and I got nothing done. I will say, it’s quite time consuming to look over your whole year at once and ask yourself, “Where did the time go? Where did I put it?

Accountability

This word appears in several areas of life but from a military background we commonly think of it as taking attendance. Is everyone at formation? Did we accidentally leave someone in the desert to die?
Accountable: subject to the obligation to report, explain, or justify something; responsible; answerable.

Who are you accountable to? Are you willing to keep yourself honest and report on your life? Who is that friend that is honest enough to tell you like it is? There needs to be a voice of reason, outside of yourself and family to help you see the reality of your situation and provide guidance to improve final outcomes. In 2023, I will be more accountable to you, my readership. I will take stock of my life and how I’m using my time.

2022:

January:

I built some stuff for the Scout troop in my garage when it was like 17 deg out; procrastinators pay a heavier price. I took a few hikes but only rode my bike twice (total 15mi). This was the beginning of a rough winter for me. There was some decent depression, comfort eating, and more alcohol than I care to admit. The pain in my body was worse than previous years. Someone at the middle school impersonated my son, and sent vulgar and insulting texts to girls. Mental Grenade published 5 posts and introduced Seth Hopper as a new author.

February:

I got my eyes checked. Took some online classes in the spiritual/trauma realm, some on how to be a better coach. The water heater exploded and Canaan helped me replace it. A tree top broke off and almost destroyed our house.

Canaan and I spent some time at a cabin with three other father and sons teams for quality investment in the future generation. I took 4 bike rides for a total of 42 miles. Mental Grenade published 10 posts and introduced Erika E. as a new author.

March:

I flew to CO to work with Advancing Warriors International and meet up with fellow veterans trying to make a difference in the mental and spiritual recovery of their peers. I worked with Warrior Community Connect and started the planning for a veteran fly fishing trip in November. My wife and son had birthdays.

We spent a few days at Boulder Crest to reconnect as a family and celebrate those birthdays. On the 22nd, I broke my collar bone while mountain biking with some friends. Riding only twice this month for a total of 17 miles, 50% of my rides ended in injury. MG posted 12 times including a fitness post by Chad Hiser.

April:

I spent the next few weeks sleeping in the recliner so I couldn’t roll onto my side and put pressure on my shoulders. It was humbling to be more reliant on Misty again and I was determined to come back from this stronger. I got myself out of the house and went to a few of the boys’ track meets.

I was supposed to fly to CO to attend a MTB event with Wounded Warrior Project but I called them right after I broke myself and asked to be rescheduled. I started attending physical therapy three times a week and pushing myself. At the end of the month I attended a first aid and CPR class to meet some qualifications for coaching.

We got some much needed tree work done (11 trees downed and 3 topped). Misty and I flew to Florida to attend a reunion of Operation Heal Our Patriots. I wasn’t able to ride my bike at all but this injury hit the reset button and helped me break free of the winter issues that were still clinging to me. I’m not sure why this winter was so hard but I know I never want it to be like that again. Mental Grenade published 11 posts, including two guest authors. Chase, a dear friend of mine was one of those guests. He published a personal story of loss in a three part series entitled, “The Horizon of my Mind.”

May:

Physical therapy continued to intensify and on the 15th, I finally rode my bike again for the first time after the accident. I rode again after that, but just to a Twin Valley Mountain Biking community event. Two rides for a total of 12.7 miles.
Why am I constantly telling you about my riding? It’s a huge part of my recovery journey. The more active I am, the less depressed and in pain I am. In addition to my online support group every Thursday night, I began participating in an online class every Wed and teaching one Tue. Subject matters focused around Spiritual healing from trauma. My daughter turned 16 on the 16th.

The family went to the zoo and zip lining. I “played” golf with friends. I don’t play golf, I hack and act as comedic relief. Misty flew to Arkansas to help her sister with her new baby, leaving me alone in the house with three teenagers (Scary for both parties). My friend and fellow veteran, O’D comes to town and we celebrate Memorial Day together. Mental Grenade published 10 posts.

June:

Ritter turned four years old. A lot of prep work for the start of mountain biking season. The Scout troop was also planning a 150 mile bike ride in August and I started evaluating and fixing bikes for the boys. Running the kids all over the place sucked up a significant amount of time.

Misty and I decided to buy goats for the kids which created another large scale project with a deadline. I finished my physical therapy and stepped up my riding. 12 rides for a total of 153 miles… that’s better. 11 posts published by MG- I’d like to highlight, “PTSD Awareness.”

July:

Mountain biking season for the PA Interscholastic Cycling League officially begins. At this point, I didn’t realize that it would consume my life. (But not in a terrible way.) Practice, trying to finish up teaching the online class, and a few other things followed by volunteering with the troop at Scout camp for a few days. I struggle with the past and cope with more MTB (Mountain Biking). With the fencing finished and the goats brought home, I had to build their pen in the barn and do a little more remodeling.

Riding, riding, riding more. I flew to CO to ride mountain bikes with Wounded Warrior Project. 19 rides for a total of 250 miles and raising $1500 for Stop Soldier Suicide.

August:

To continue the family tradition, Canaan crashed his bike during MTB practice. He broke his nose and got six stitches but was back to riding the next week.

I attended another MTB class to help me coach better. Right before I was supposed to assist the Scout troop with the 150 mile ride/camping trip, I contracted “the virus” and it knocked me out for a few days. Dizzy, fever, pain, chest congestion- it was not a fun time. It took a few weeks to fully get back to normal but I started riding again after a week. I was supposed to fly to Montana to volunteer with Warriors and Quiet Waters but C0V1D killed that opportunity.

Misty and I celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary. 14 rides for a total of 94 miles isn’t terrible considering I didn’t ride for over a week. Mental Grenade published only three posts this month which is reflective of how busy it was but we still debuted Shannon Rafferty as a new author!

September:

I welded some bike racks for the MTB team, explored a trail I had heard about for years, and joined the Great Cycle Challenge. I volunteered as a group facilitator at the Warrior Getaway in Maryland put on by Joni And Friends over the 9/11 weekend. The rest of the month was consumed with riding my bike for the GCC fundraiser and TVMTB practice. The boys did two MTB races. Mental Grenade only published twice this month and it’s because I took 24 rides for a total of 308 miles and I raised $1100 to help cure kids cancer.

October:

I turned 41 during a Pennsylvania Interscholastic Cycling League race at Blue Mountain with TVMTB. There were two races and an end of year rally which consumed all but one weekend this month. Not that I’m complaining, I love these people and this sport. We managed to sell our pop-up camper this month for almost double what we would’ve gotten on trade in from the dealership we bought our new one from… a real blessing from God. That sale allowed us to get the new camper without taking out a loan. We took the new camper on its first trip the last weekend/riding event of the year at Raystown lake. Misty joined the rest of the family and we had a great time.

We went to a corn maze, enjoying the fall with family. I served as the social media coordinator for the MTB team this year and it consumed a fair amount of time, taking photos, videos, and creating posts out of them, while highlighting our sponsors.

14 rides for 158 miles.
MG posted twice. I’m learning as I go; “Measure your quality of life by the quality of your relationships.”
(I said that.)

November:

I spent the first weekend helping Warrior Community Connect run a fly fishing trip for some East coast veterans. It was a great time. Home renovations began again. We switched Drs and all had appointments. I got some bloodwork done and thank God, everything looked normal. I connected with a variety of persons, professionally and personally. I cooked another amazing turkey this thanksgiving.

We celebrated my other son’s 15th birthday. 10 rides totaled 106 miles. Mental Grenade posted four times, including a tribute to the Marine Corps Birthday!

December:

I spent significant time building shelves for the attic, working on the built-in cabinets up there, and fabricating the metal railing.

We picked up some used furniture and did some rearranging of things in the house. We had Misty’s sister and family over for a week. It was a great time but man, I was reminded what it is like having young kids. There were 2.5yo twin boys and an eight month old. It was lively to say the least. There were many small events surrounding the family that kept me constantly on the go. I rode nine times for a total of 109 miles. I managed to slip away on Christmas Day for a ride before more company came over.

I really needed the peace and quiet. It was beautiful, not a soul was on the trails. Mental Grenade posted four times, including an excellent post from Seth.

My original goal was 1,000 miles ridden in 2022. I didn’t think I was going to make it when I broke myself but I found motivation in raising money with riding challenges and hit my goal early so I stretched to 1250 and beat that. 1500 miles will be 2023’s goal but I’d like to push as far as my schedule will allow. It’ll be more of a challenge to get the mileage on my new bike that weighs 13lbs more than the previous one.

Now:

2023 will be a year marked by intense intentionality. I’m taking accountability of my time use. Life is short, I need to make it matter. Expect more honesty, expect more soul searching. Cutting out alcohol and eating better, doing more workouts off the bike, and being consistent in sleep will vastly improve this coming year. What can you do to make this the best year of your life?

Yeah, maybe it can’t be the best and that’s ok. How can you improve? What’s holding you back that needs cut out? Who can you spend time with that will HELP you be the best version of yourself. Spend less time with that person you know tempts you to fall back into destructive habits.

-Drew OUT.

Drew founded Mental Grenade Jan 2020. He is a follower of Jesus Christ, a medically retired Marine, EOD Tech, husband, father, writer, mountain biker, photographer, facilitator, and fly-fisherman. He seeks to bridge the civilian – military divide and bring hope through honest communication about difficult issues.

These Veteran stories of struggle, adventure, and post traumatic growth need to be heard!
Join the cause to de-stigmatize mental health issues.
Please SUBSCRIBE, share our website with friends / co-workers, and support us by donation or at the STORE.

These Veteran stories of struggle, adventure, and post traumatic growth need to be heard!
Join the cause to de-stigmatize mental health issues.
Please SUBSCRIBE, share our website with friends / co-workers, and support us by donation or at the STORE.