I’m dumb sometimes. I’m getting better but occasionally fall victim to my urge to intervene.

I saw a friend’s post on Facebook, innocuous, seemingly benign. As I scrolled down I could hear small arms fire, a few comments later mortars were dropping danger close. I ran up beside my battle buddy to assess the situation. I popped my head over the berm and squeezed off a few rounds, I was committed.

Sometimes these exchanges are short lived. When the group identity magazine runs empty and they reload with personal thought, malfunction is imminent. If you recognize ferocity of tone, you can often anticipate failure of logic.

When their personal weapon jammed, they called in close air support to drop an ad hominem bomb. There was an expectation that I would retaliate in like manor. Instead, I used fire and maneuver and they were caught off guard. Through logic, humility, honor, an ability to stay on topic, and research into their “evidence”, I stood my ground. My adversary broke contact. Did either of us learn anything?

My way or… nope, just my way.

As a generalized statement, humans rarely enter into debate with a willingness to hear the other side out, much less weigh the validity of their point. In a debate club, public meeting, or on social media both sides listen only so much as to be able to provide rebuttal. Online, we stick to our guns and spew a monologue based on the groups with which we align ourselves.

We shake our fists and scream at the screen, telling so many how stupid they are. How productive is this? How do you fix the world’s problems staring at your phone? Do you feel better after you’ve engaged with enraging content?

Proverbs 26:17 “Like one who grabs a stray dog by the ears is someone who rushes into a quarrel not their own.”
Yup, I screwed that one up.

Could this be OUR problem and not “theirs”? Feel free to disagree with me here, I won’t call you puerile, but I think this boils down to a lack of RESPECT. We have lost the ability to respect an opinion contrary to our own.

This isn’t new, it’s always happened?

Would it be naïve to believe that we could all get along?

Scrape that coexist sticker off your car people. There are groups which fundamentally disagree with all others outside of their belief system. It’s not a simple matter of them believing others are wrong- if you don’t convert, you must die. There’s no reasoning with or ability to live with those who would exterminate you for not pledging allegiance to their way of life.

I once believed world peace was possible. As a musician, I saw potential in the moments we were playing. We couldn’t talk and there was a type of peace, a unity of thought from the collective desire to achieve the goal of performance. Unfortunately, as soon as the director stopped to adjust or correct something, fighting in and between the different sections of the band would begin about how this person screwed up or that person should play louder.

Wait, if we give up the right to free speech and have a common goal we could achieve unity!
It’s already been tried by countries around the world. It catastrophically failed every time.
But it could work in America, we’re different!
People are people. The system starts one way and ends up another, doomed to fail when we give up our freedom in the name of “equality and peace.”

There will always be a difference of opinion

Shouldn’t there be? We need to relearn diplomacy. We MUST value opposing points of view.

The Bible talks about how powerful words are, that if we could master our tongue we could lead a perfect life.
James 3:2 “Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.” There’s a weight there, do you feel it?

Each word you say can be put ON someone or UNDER someone. Do you weigh them down or build them up?

Try not to interject your opinion in the stream of comments following a news article or political meme. It’s unnecessary conflict in life that resolves… nothing. (Trust me)

It gets you angry doesn’t it? I read some of those comments just to see what people are saying. Sometimes I laugh, shake my head, or feel like crying because of the hate that people spew at each other over the most insignificant things. (Sometimes about things they don’t REALLY understand but everyone argues about anyway- insert your own example here)

One problem stems from our lack of diversity in news sources. Stop believing everything that you are being told. Think critically. There’s always an agenda. Reposting things from “Occupy this” or “Conservative that” just because it’s on the page? Maybe it’s time to stop the mob mentality and figure out WHY you believe what you believe.

Be action oriented

What does a person stand for? Look at their actions rather than promises. Same goes for friends and family. If you always promise your kids you’re going to do something and never do it, you’re poisoning the relationship with your lies. Harsh, you say? True, says I.

Discussions in marriage can be quite heated at times. So often, one person will bring up some past issue to attack their partner when it has NOTHING to do with what they are discussing. If you are attacking your partner/spouse, go get counseling. There, somebody said it.

Even the healthiest of couples can benefit from counseling. Resolving conflict often requires a mediator. Sadly, many couples just blame the other person for why they aren’t going and if they do go they aren’t willing to openly discuss things. God forbid we admit the possibility we could be wrong!

If you can’t discuss the real issues in the safety of a neutral counselor’s office, then it might come back to respect or pride. Are you willing to put your pride aside and go in the first place? Do you respect your loved one enough to be vulnerable? (What is this problem REALLY about?)

We’re all afraid to be WRONG. Is that why we shout when someone disagrees? If we don’t hear the other point of view then we can rest more easily in our own.

Being wrong sucks. Admitting that you are fallible can be a very powerful thing. Saying you’re sorry and meaning it carries much weight. Children will remember if you actually apologize and it helps them learn the behavior. Words aren’t enough though, you need to back them up with the actions that prove you’re sorry.

The Bible says faith without works is dead- so you can say it all day long but you have to put in the work. It also says, “By their fruits you will know them.” If your tree is growing apples people will call you an apple tree. If your tree is producing figs they’ll call you a fig tree. If your tree is bearing poison fruit what do you think they’ll call you? If you’re a keyboard warrior then your fruit is your words, gif, meme, etc. What do your posts or comments say about you?

-Drew OUT!

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