Drew

Where am I?

Sometimes, I don’t know. I mean, I know, but it doesn’t seem right. Most of the time it’s me and my perception but occasionally it something else.

I’m sitting in a GMC dealership waiting on them to complete a recall on my truck. I called them, they had to order the part, and then they called me back to schedule the appointment. I think I was driving when they returned my call so I had to remember what they said until I stopped. Perhaps I got the date wrong, maybe they did. Either way, when I showed up this morning they didn’t have me on the schedule.

Apparently the system reports 8 days from now I have an appointment. I’m scratching my head, convinced that I had the date right. But that happens a lot. Is it a function of my distracted living? Is it caused by my TBI?

Things get even more “interesting” when my son who has ADHD remembers things differently. I imagine God laughing at the two of us having a confused discussion about what really happened 30 seconds ago. Many times I consider putting cameras in the house so that we can literally rewind what happened and find actuality, rather than sifting frustratedly through perception.

Cameras in the house is too far in my opinion. But I struggle with so many aspects of our technologically integrated life these days. Everything is recording us. I wish my phone would just be honest and tell me what I just said. Most of us have experienced the active advertisement where we talk about something and then begin to see it pop up in our feeds.

We see things happening around us but are told they aren’t happening. Is it all in our heads? I don’t like getting political but sometimes… Why do people say that you shouldn’t talk about religion and politics at dinner? Probably because we already fight too much or perhaps because our personal problems are so mismanaged that we can’t think about solving the world’s?

Politics deals with our immediate future and religion deals with our eternal future. Should we not discuss our future? Too many people are yelling, but so few are discussing. It hurts my head that we are so inwardly focused. I can still respect you if I disagree with you. Can you say the same to me?

It happened again. At least two other calendar events went as scheduled but I came to the fourth today. A parent meeting for a fall sport which will be practicing over the summer. It was on the calendar as tonight at 6pm but when I got there I was informed it’s tomorrow night.

I texted Misty and was promptly informed that my daughter had already questioned the calendar and stated that it was tomorrow. I don’t remember her saying that OR my response which apparently was, “No, it’s today. Didn’t you see it on the calendar?” I remember neither.

I finished my evening mowing the lower field. Now I have grass in my head. The pollen is choking me. At least Ritter was my ever present sanity. Following the tractor or posted just outside the field, he kept watch as I went round and round in circles; just like I do in my head.

Drew founded Mental Grenade Jan 2020. He is a follower of Jesus Christ, a medically retired Marine, EOD Tech, husband, father, writer, mountain biker, photographer, facilitator, and fly-fisherman. He seeks to bridge the civilian – military divide and bring hope through honest communication about difficult issues.

These Veteran stories of struggle, adventure, and post traumatic growth need to be heard!
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These Veteran stories of struggle, adventure, and post traumatic growth need to be heard!
Join the cause to de-stigmatize mental health issues.
Please SUBSCRIBE, share our website with friends / co-workers, and support us by donation or at the STORE.