Erika E

This is the beginning of a series about my perspective of serving in the Army National Guard. This is not meant to serve as an all encompassing guide of what it’s like to be a female in the military, not even close. It is simply my story, recounted through my eyes, my own “glasses,” so to speak.

Throughout this series, I hope some of you will be encouraged to share your stories, your perspective, your side. Whether you choose to share snippets in the comments or email me a story to post as a guest author, I look forward to the interaction. Alrighty then, time to get part 1, of who knows how many, started.

My question for you…

Have you ever gone out on Veteran’s Day for a meal? Yes? What about stopped at a store for something & asked for the veteran’s discount? Yes? Have you ever been questioned or had your veteran status challenged? If you’re male, probably not, but if you’re female, like me, most likely you have.

I still vividly remember one Veteran’s Day when my boyfriend (active Army) & I went to a local restaurant for lunch. We asked our server for the Veteran’s Day special & he brought us a modified menu. We ordered, received our food, & ate with no issues. At the end of the meal the server approached the table, turned to my boyfriend, thanked him for his service, & proceeded to hand me the bill for my meal. I politely informed him that I too was a veteran. The look of shock on his face just made me shake my head. It was 2014! To top it off, my boyfriend was just as surprised because he had never witnessed that before. WHAT?!? Right or wrong, I was used to it.

What’s the hang up?

I joined the Army in 2006 & have had my status challenged on a pretty regular basis since then. Yes, I am a minority in the military, but it’s no secret that women have been proudly serving this great nation for YEARS before I joined. Centuries!!!

The bias always made me want to do two things:
1. Yell (WRONG ANSWER) or
2. Beat them to a pulp (VERY WRONG ANSWER).
Either way, I would get excessively angry, but I never acted out of anger (don’t think I didn’t want to, I just chose the high road). I must admit, today the pushback is certainly less, but it’s still there, lurking around the corner. Kind of like that spider who builds its web from the tree to your side mirror EVERY DAMN NIGHT & even though you know it’s there, you still walk into it every morning because you can’t see it & forget it’s there (the latter is more so because we’re getting old, but still).

Fitting the stereotype

When I was 19 years old I got my first tattoo. I chose to get it on my chest so it could be easily hidden by most clothes. In January 2020 I got my second tattoo on my right forearm & in September 2020 I got my third tattoo on my left forearm. All of my tattoos have deep meaning behind them (maybe I’ll write about them in the future), but this post isn’t about my tattoos. This post is more so about what I’ve experienced after getting them in more conspicuous locations.

If I have short sleeves on & ask about a veteran discount or get out of my car in a veteran spot, I don’t get the same pushback as before. I hate to think it’s merely because I now “fit” a stereotype that vets are covered in tattoos. I can only hope it’s because more people understand & expect women to be veterans these days, but I’m honestly not sure.

What’s your story?

I would love to get your opinion on this. I’m genuinely curious as to what other women have experienced. I believe that different generations have seen more or less challenges than me. Do our stories differ between services as well? What’s your story & are you willing to share? Comment below or email me.

Who is Erika E?

Erika is a 6-year Army vet turned IT geek who drinks copious amounts of coffee & isn’t afraid of struggle. When she’s not working, she loves writing, reading, & NOT arithmetic (but can calculate as needed). Oh, & as you’ll see from her posts, she doesn’t shy away from tough topics.

Got a story you want to share? Email her at erika@mentalgrenade.com

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