For many years I felt God had left me, wasn’t on my side, or just wasn’t there at all. The drinking filled the void or so I told myself as I masked the pain, confusion, and anger. All I could feel was anger. I no longer felt anything else. I didn’t feel love for my children or compassion for my fellow man. Life was cruel, that’s just how it was. After a while the effect my issues were having on my family came to the point that my wife dropped the ultimatum: change, or I’m taking the kids and leaving. It was the sobering taste of desperation. I knew something was wrong but up till then I was unwilling to seek help. Looking back at my last unit, it seemed like a lot of guys had the same symptoms I did… only a few of us were seeking help.
What is the Quick Reaction Force (QRF)? Why do we call for fire? Because we want and need their HELP. When does humanity seem to be at its best? During crisis we pull together because we need help and it seems ok to ask for it because it’s a universal need in that present moment. When you’re all alone in your problem it’s easier to stay stuck, self-medicate, put your head down and drive on like you’ve been trained to do (hoping that it will actually work). It’s a pervasive commonality that military members will forgo medical help IOT: complete the mission, keep their career “on track”, not seem weak.
We are waiting too long to talk about things. No one in the military operates alone, at least they’re not supposed to. We need that Sanity check, someone to remind us what the mission is and help keep us on track. EVERYONE NEEDS SOMEONE. If you think I’m wrong then you need to talk to someone about that, seriously. Let’s continue being candid, we all need help- ALL the time. We weren’t created to be alone. Even when God was present with him in the garden of Eden, Adam was given another human for companionship. God made us to need other people and so it is right that we seek others out, check on them, pray for and with them.
So now I ask you? What does it take to motivate you to seek others out? Not just for their safety but for yours as well? How many more have to die before we take this seriously? Why does it have to be someone close before we are motivated to act?
When will the military find individuals to give briefings that ACTUALLY care about the subject material??? Seriously, how many of us that served in the military sat through a safety stand-down listening to a monotone reading of a PowerPoint presentation about suicide?! The only one that ever made an impression on me was given by a Chaplain- the man had dealt with too many suicides (one is too many and sadly he had handled many more than that) and was almost crying through the whole brief. He was passionate about life, are we? If you are, go looking for those that aren’t. If you aren’t, contact someone now.
Everyone needs someone. A hotline is a passive net that only a few are falling into- we have a duty to our brothers and sisters. I know you could list a few names right now of people you’re worried about or should call. Write them down and DO IT, now. Call, message, text- anything, anyway, every way. Today could be the day that they needed just ONE REASON NOT TO, and you could be it.
God wants us as we are RIGHT NOW. You don’t need to be good, clean, or serving the poor. Your life as it is- the good the bad, and the wretched things you think can never be forgiven- that’s what Christ wants- the real you. Angry at God? He knows, so talk to Him about it. Scream out what’s in your heart. Give up the pain, sadness, feelings of betrayal and abandonment.
The devil wants to keep you in depression and darkness- he feeds the lie over and over and over again, “No one else should have to suffer what you’re going through, don’t put the burden on them- it’s not fair.” PEOPLE! The ones that love you want to be trusted! They NEED you to talk about the things that hurt and they will be STRONGER because you trusted them with those secrets. I’ve seen it- married couples finding new strength in their relationships because they FINALLY reached the point where they could talk about some of those “dark” issues.
People can be brought back from the edge by just a phone call or two. WHY do we wait so long?! We aren’t just hurting ourselves- all this time we spend not talking about our pain we are hurting the ones we love. There’s no doubt about it. Doesn’t it suck when you KNOW something is bothering a friend and they won’t tell you? That’s what friends are for, sharing the load. Now don’t pay lip service people- I’m tired of, “how are you today?” Being a greeting instead of an actual question. I’ve gotten many crazy stares when I answer honestly.
If you aren’t willing to listen and care, then DON’T ask someone to trust you. If someone DOES trust you, for everyone’s sake DO NOT try and fix them or offer advice. Nine times out of ten the person has been waiting a long time to say what’s on their heart and mind and they just need you to LISTEN! Don’t wait! Call now!
Over.
Matthew 11:28 (Jesus Said) “Come to me, all you who are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.”
Galatians 6:2 “Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.”
Drew Out!
Drew founded Mental Grenade Jan 2020. He is a follower of Jesus Christ, a medically retired Marine, EOD Tech, husband, father, writer, mountain biker, photographer, facilitator, and fly-fisherman. He seeks to bridge the civilian – military divide and bring hope through honest communication about difficult issues.
These Veteran stories of struggle, adventure, and post traumatic growth need to be heard!
Join the cause to de-stigmatize mental health issues.
Please SUBSCRIBE, share our website with friends / co-workers, and support us by donation or at the STORE.
These Veteran stories of struggle, adventure, and post traumatic growth need to be heard!
Join the cause to de-stigmatize mental health issues.
Please SUBSCRIBE, share our website with friends / co-workers, and support us by donation or at the STORE.
COMMENTS! HERE! NOW!